Sunday, November 06, 2005

to thine own self.....

sometimes in life you reach a situation where you are given two options - one is right and ethical but will harm you in the near future and the other is bad but will benefit you immensely.

i was presented with two such situations recently.

situation one- a junior asked for help on a project. her project is going great guns right now (needless to say mine is as stalled as a donkey going uphill with a load on its back).she wanted my help with a technique that only i knew how to do. and in fact i had used the said technique to complete a project quite sucessfully a long time ago - so long in fact that now my boss has forgotten all about it. so what did i do? if i had showed it to her then she would have been the hero of my bosses heart (to my disadvantage) and if i did not show it to her it would not have affected me (my boss hates me anyways) but her work would have been slower.

situation two - there was an exam which i gave some time back. for my phd (yes people i am doing a phd) i have to pass this exam. but i did not. i failed miserably and since this exam is in the form of a presentation, i was humiliated in front of all the people in my deparmment. who was at fault for it is a debatable issue but it was a very traumatic experience for me. i had to give the exam again after a few months when i passed it. now my junior (not the same one as above)is giving this exam again. he asked my for help and suggestions. already it hurts me so much to see his presentation. one thing it brings back bad memories and the other he had done a good job of it. much better than me. my suggestions would have helped him out of potentially sticky spots. if i had not given them then his presentation would not have been excellent but he would have passed anyways.

so what did i do?

i did the things that i could live with for the rest of my life. i helped both of them as much as i could and to the fullest extent of my ability.

to thine own self be true.

3 comments:

Tejaswi said...

Wow, for one thing I respect you for what you did eventually. But I respect you most for owning up your negetive thoughts, and that you can be so honest about it.

samudrika said...

Your words make me very contented.
I never knew that people actually read such old posts!

Deepak Krishnan said...

trust me, these decisions can get really killing specially when your project/research is not progressing.

Have been in similar situations during my M.Tech.

During such times one might feel that the whole world is against us, but "help maadi!!" should be the policy.